The opening hole of Glacier Ranch is a straight, non-drivable par 4 with a long bunker that cuts across the fairway in front of the green. Sand lines the left side of the fairway with trees and bushes on the right. Like most first holes, either put the ball in the fairway for an easy birdie or get aggressive by playing for a chip shot out of the sand or grass. A 3-wood will carry the trees along the road and will often wind up in the greenside bunker, which is actually a good spot to be. Whatever you do, just make sure you move onto the second hole with a red number on your scorecard.

Questioning whether or not you want to try and drive this one? I’ll help – if you don’t know what the term “one better” means, play for a birdie. Try to drive this hole and miss with an overly aggressive chip and you’ll be “one worse” than your buddies.

#2 is a relatively easy par 5 that doglegs sharply to the right. Trees line both sides of the fairway up to the dogleg with a massive bunker beyond it. The green is huge, although a troublesome bunker lies behind it and trees off to the right side can come into play as well. Luckily there’s still some breathing room around the putting surface if you miss. The idea here is to position a powerful tee shot as far over to the left of the fairway as you can, leaving as much space as possible to get around the trees by the dogleg with a slicing shot. Good luck!

Like many of the new holes in 2007, Glacier’s #2 forces you – the player – to think twice in the tee box instead of just hitting the trackball as hard as possible. It’s all about ball control here and as long and as you can get the ball to the far left-edge of the fairway it should be fairly simple to move on with an eagle. Play a hook shot with roll, or just turn left and hit it straight - whatever you do, try and stay out of the rough. It’s much easier to control an approach shot from the fairway. –3 after two holes, you gotta’ love it!

The first par 3 at Glacier Ranch is on the longer side at 200+ yards. The tee shot carries over a canal of water to the green with bushes scattered around most of it. Just don’t come up short or you’ll be swimming. Depending on the pin placement, you may want to consider backspin.

See that big, green circle with the flag in the middle of it? I think you know the rest…

And so the fun begins! A drivable par 5 that is a serious risk vs. reward gem with a lot of penalty strokes on the line. You may elect for the fairway to play it safe, but I’ll just say that making eagle that way is highly unlikely. Birdie, yes, but eagle, no. Try the short way around and go for the elusive double eagle! Look left in the tee box and go through the gap in the trees to the green. Or you can choose to get creative and curve around the forest to the elevated green. Some things to note: the front edge of the green is banked and will kick your ball up onto the green if it’s coming in with the right trajectory and speed. But the green is dangerously shallow and difficult to hold. Speed is key here; the difference between a perfect shot and a water-ball is slight. You almost always will be using a driver and backspin is a must.

The “fun”!? Sobe, you’re freakin’ insane! There’s no advice that someone of my caliber can give on this hole so I’m going to talk about the aftermaths of your mistakes! Fall short of green into the water = penalty stroke for drop spot in rough in front of green, plus possibly 3 strokes to reach the green. Make your putt and move on with a six! Fly the green, land in water = penalty stroke for drop spot back in new tee box, try to take shortcut again (assume same risks) or take the long way around. Move on with a six or maybe even a stroke limit, it’s your call. Hit the trees and bounce on to the fairway = it’s your lucky day! You might move on with a birdie! Or you can take the long way around at the beginning and move on with a birdie and your dignity…

A long but drivable par 4 that is severely downhill with trees lining both sides of the fairway up to a long, narrow green. A dark and dirty stream runs behind the green so anything that goes long will be wet. The end of the fairway feeds down to the green as long as you’re in the center, otherwise the bunkers will grab it. The hole plays shorter due to the drop in elevation.

#5 is a nice ego boost after the demoralizing experience of #4. Just remember that your ball is in the air for an extended amount of time here, giving the wind more time to affect it. It’s easy to go long here, so be careful.

#6 is a non-drivable par 4 with two fairways separated by water. A very shallow, but wide, green with banked edges feeds into the water on the left side and a deep bunker surrounds the rest. Hit the closest fairway and you will reach the green easily from there. There’s never any need to shoot for the second one. This is an easy birdie, so don’t be the guy that gets a par!

The guy who gets a par? I know him!

#7 is a par 3 that is severely elevated from tee to green. A wooden wall protects the right side of the green, while the left edge banks sharply down to the water. My mentality is just to get on the green, make the putt and move on. You will need backspin more often than not. Just note that missing left is unacceptable so try a shot that approaches left-to-right.

This can be a tough par 3! It has some shades of Heather Pointe #17 in it, only not nearly as drastic. Your ability to birdie #7 lies solely in the wind. A stiff wind from right-to-left can make this short par 3 a bear, while a nice breeze from the opposite direction can make it simple. I simply try to play for the middle of the green no matter where the pin may be. The left edge of the putting surface is pure danger, while the wall to the right can do nothing but hurt you if hit on a fly. Get that birdie now because you’re going to need it later.

An awesome par 5 that offers two ways to attack what I consider an extreme uphill hole. Take the fairway or take the shortcut? Consider this: The fairway is lined with trees and doglegs sharply to the right, getting steeper near the dogleg. Aim to get a tee shot out far enough to clear most of the trees for a good, but staggered, look at the green. Hit a club with some height and put a little extra mustard on it. It’s a difficult but achievable eagle from that play. The shortcut - look to the right of the dogleg and you’ll see a slightly elevated landing shelf backed by mountainside. From the shelf, the mountain curls to the green and partially blocks a clear shot to the dance floor. But don’t let that psyche you out, this is a doable shot. So, when approaching the shelf, use the mountainside to kick backwards your ball in the center of the shelf. Be sure to apply backspin. To reach the green from there you’ll likely need to play a hook shot around the mountainside up to the green. Take note that the green is very elevated and a perfect shot will actually bounce up to the putting surface and not land directly on it. Hit the green on a fly and your ball is out of here! Because your hooking the ball and the green is elevated, it’s easy to come up short here – don’t do it!

Another shortcut hole adequately nicknamed the “Shelf”. A tough tee shot coupled with a tricky approach shot make the “Shelf” a potential round killer for the duffers of the world. The key is to do whatever it takes to stay out of the water on both your tee and approach shot. A left-to-right wind off the tee will make it tough and force you apply an adequate amount of cut to stick the shelf. If anything, apply too much cut and let the mountainside keep your ball in place. From there, the elevation difference from the shelf to the green can be deceiving – an over hit approach shot is much safer than one that’s under hit. Make smart decisions and move on with an eagle at best or a birdie at worst.

#9 is a drivable par 4 that plays straight away and severely downhill. It actually reminds me of a long par 3 rather than a par 4. You gotta’ love it. Because of the elevation, the ball spends more time in the air and is affected more by the wind. The ball lands will land softly on this medium-sized green. Beware of the four small water hazards around the green and play it simple. Judging the elevation correctly is the key here and practice makes perfect.

After the first 8 brutal holes you can choose to jump and end it all on the 9th tee or boost your ego with halfway-point eagle. Just like hole #5, your ball is going to fall out of the clouds here and, unfortunately, there’s not much room for error. Be cautious of the left-sloping green, especially if the wind is blowing right-to-left. You may need to apply a little “slice” to keep from bouncing into the water.

A standard par 4, #10 offers an approach shot over water to an elevated green with a small wall in front of it. The green is small, shallow and round so be cautious, anything that falls short is wet. Think twice about the distance to the green from the tee and choose the most appropriate club. Take note that #10 is easier to play with a higher lofted club, rather than a low-loft.

Finally, a hole where you can just close your eyes and crush it off the tee! Ah, it’s been a while! But like Sobe says, the elevation change can make the second shot tricky. If anything go long here and salvage a par instead of falling short and making bogey.

#11 is a typical par 4 that doglegs to the right and features a huge, long green. A large, curvy bunker covers part of the front-right side of the fairway and water resides along the left. It takes a precise A-1 type of tee shot to leave yourself a clean approach, but be careful not to land in the river! There’s no need to push it. And incase you’re thirsty, there’s a Coke machine behind the green.

This is one of those holes where the really good players have to do some sort of funky cut shot off the tee to get “perfect” ball position while a bad players just try to copy and end up doing something stupid! Just make sure your tee shot clears the trees and make double sure it doesn’t go into the water! Don’t be the guy who pars the “typical” par 4.

A par 3 with a medium-sized green, #12 is as straight ahead as it gets. The green is crowned with water in front and a wall along the right. It slopes up 3° and right 3° so be cautious. The ease of this hole depends on the wind so play it smart and move on with a birdie. Considering the trouble around the green, the key to this shot is controlling your speed. I use backspin often.

A left-to-right wind makes #12 a breeze, but when it’s blowing the opposite direction you may be in some trouble. Play for the center of this green and worry about your putt later.

Moving on to the par 5 13th, you’ll be greeted by a double-dogleg with a fairway that snakes between some very tall mountains. On top of the mountain to the right, you’ll notice a flat clearing that must be used as a landing area to approach the green. The flat-topped mound is elevated with banked edges that feed down water so think twice about your tee shot and consider using backspin to hold it. From atop the mountain, you’ll have a staggered look at the green that lies behind the mountain. Pull out your 3 or 5 wood and you’ll have no problem clearing the second mountain to reach the green. You may want to consider using backspin on the approach shot but remember that it will be less effective since the top of the mountain is considered “rough”. If you’re afraid of heights and decide to take the fairway instead of the mountainous shortcut, just know that getting home in two is possible but highly unlikely. Unless birdie ball is your game, take the shortcut every time.

The best part about #13 is that there’s a lot of wide-open space, opposed to a lot of water. Like Sobe says, play for the top of the mountain and if you fall short, just chip up to the top! There’s no easier way to reach the green. Also, the “No Yodeling” rule is in effect!

A non-drivable par 4, #14 features a severely sloped green that sits high atop a deceiving plateau. Water lies directly behind the medium-sized putting surface and grass sits along the sides. Consider your distances before you tee-off to leave yourself with an easy iron to bounce up onto the green. Some players may prefer to lay back on the fairway to approach with an elevated wood as well; it pretty much comes to preference on this straightaway hole. Just be sure that you move-on with a birdie, anything else is unacceptable.

Speaking behalf of all duffers, I prefer to use a high wood coming into this hole rather than depending on the bounce-up from an iron. Not only is the 5 or 3-wood easier for me to control, I know that it’s my fault if I hit into the water. Rather than screaming about a bad bounce and blaming some askew blades of virtual grass…

A short par 3, #15 features an up 10°, right 2° green that is protected by water in the front and rock in the back. Here’s the deal: anything short is wet, anything long will also end up in the water after ricocheting off the wall first. So, aim for the middle of the green and do NOT use backspin. Tada! A birdie!

You’re such a jerk, Sobe. “Aim for the middle of the green…” and “Tada!” you say. Well maybe we should just rewrite all of these to say that!

#16 is a drivable par 4 that is unlike any other hole in the history of the game. With 3 potential ways to attack this short hole #16 is one of a few “game makers” or “breakers” at Glacier Ranch. In front of tee box lays a dense group of trees with some visible gaps between them. The gaps straight in front of the tee box are not tall enough for high irons to clear, but the gaps on the left are doable. To get through this way, you need to cut through the left-side gap, carry the water and stick the green. This is a tough play and not the most effective. I prefer to play a large C-3 (ish) cut shot around the trees to the right. A wind in your face or right-to-left make this play the easiest, but note that the end trees – near the green - hang out way more than they appear. But the reason I like this shot is that even when you miss, the ball usually lands in a safe spot. Sometimes you can even crash through the trees and end up on the green! What you don’t want to do is hit the green on fly. Anything that hits the green cutting that hard will likely spin into the drink at a million miles an hour. Play for the bounce on. The last option off the tee is the rarely practical “chip shot” through the trees onto the green. It’s never easy to control an 80-yard chip, especially through this muck. But sometimes this option may be the most feasible especially when the wind and gap in the trees look promising. Remember, the size of the gap can change depending on your tee box position. If you’re brave enough, use a low iron with backspin and aim for the gap. Say a little prayer while you’re at it too. This is a very creative hole by Jim Z.

You have got to be kidding me! Could you imagine this on a real golf course? I can just picture some pleasant old course marshal saying, “#16 is our signature par 4. It plays at 80 yards through a dense forest of trees and brush!” Anyway, the duffer-friendly play is always around the right. Worst case you’ll be left with a chip-and-a-par. “Ball on wood, Peter!”

An unassuming par 5, #17 is tough to eagle if you’re not confident in your ball control. This long hole doglegs left, then curls back right with a troublesome stream through the middle of it. Trees also surround every inch of the fairway forcing you to execute a perfect tee shot for a shot at eagle. Off the tee, use a C-3 type shot with backspin to cut the corner and clear the stream. Backspin, not “roll” because you want to stay as far away from the right-side tree line as possible for the cleanest look at the green. Despite how easy it looks from the tee, don’t try to hit a straight drive unless you have a HUGE out wind. The C-3 shot is key to eagling this hole. The approach shot is no “give me”, but as long as your tee shot was properly executed an eagle lies ahead.

This is a loooooong par 5 that requires two excellent shots. The goal of any duffer here is simple: stay out of the damn river! The tee shot can be tricky, so if you’re unsure in your abilities, over-cut, rather than under-cut, off of the tee. More good can come from the left side of this hole rather than right.

If #1 - #17 wasn’t enough for you, Glacier Ranch bids farewell with a unique and tough design. Another drivable par 4, Glacier’s finale forces you to dance with the forest yet again to earn the last eagle of the round. A group of trees lie just ahead of the tee box while a second group sits just short of the green. A rock-faced wall protects the right side of the green. It’s possible to aim straight through trees in front of the green and ricochet off the rock wall, but it’s not practical on a consistent basis. The most common approach is through trees in front of the tee and the clearing next to the green. It’s easy to get through the trees in front of the tee box, but it’s not easy to miss the trees by the green. Like #16, the gap in the trees will look slightly different every time depending on your tee box position. With an A-1 type of shot, swing the ball out through the left-side gap between the trees to create a bigger and better angle towards the green. Starting your ball out left will help avoid the second batch of forest and widen your window of success. If it doesn’t start left, you’ll be narrowing your window and be forced to thread the needle to make it to the dance floor. Either way you approach, consider the wind first. Wind from right-to-left means you can go straight at it without swinging out. Wind from any other direction will force you to swing out left for the better angle.

As if the first 17 holes of torture weren’t enough, Jim Z. decides to end on a high note of hell! Let me sum this one up for you - hit it through the first set of twigs, curve it right, just miss the second set of twigs and then bounce towards the hole for an eagle… This is insane! Here’s what you DON’T want to do: DON’T hit the trees in front of the tee box and DON’T go long. Stay clear of these mistakes and you should be wrapping up with a little bit of your dignity.